Mind of a deprived slave

Maya locked me in chastity, cucked me, and used me as foreplay with one of her dates. I was emotionally turbulent afterward and I’m only starting to process what happened. During and after I was a total wreck. Dipping and diving, my emotions have been a roller coaster.

Deprivation hood Maya uses on me sometimes

The experience itself was totally jarring. I had been sitting at my computer after work when she sent me a text “get on cams, just with me, right now”. Still just beginning to relax after work, I complied. She went on to gag me and spank me, while her and some other guy watched. She even allowed him to join in the longest spanking she’s ever given me. All while I couldn’t see either of them.

Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt

This wasn’t like her. Maya’s hardly ever so forceful or direct. I’ve only ever seen her be that way with people who’ve tried to scam her. Immediately, fears roped around my mind. Who was that guy? Maya knows who I am, and I trust her, but what if the guy exposes me somehow? What about the way she spoke… uncharacteristic. The experience had me in loops, questioning myself for days.

Finally, I calmed down enough to talk to her about it. I thought long and hard, realizing the only reason I thought her behavior so odd is my closeness to her. Most don’t know her well enough to detect it, and that hard, sadistic tone is the one she takes when people expect it. It wasn’t for my benefit. It was for her date’s. She also told me this later.

Maya had wanted to show me off. Present me, demonstrate the control she has over another person. To intimidate her date before dominating him. From what she tells me, it worked well.

Elation and Belonging

Looking at the experience now I feel mostly positive. Here’s a case where I was able to contribute to her sexual pleasure, empower her, and prove my loyalty. She’s rammed right through some of my limits in the last 6 months. It scares me sometimes. This… however makes me feel much better about that. It gives me purpose and confirmation. Nothing about the experience was pleasant, but it’s made sublimely pleasant knowing it pleased my Goddess.

Okay… I can’t say nothing: I do like spankings.


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