A lot of people have a very fantasy-driven idea of what slave training looks like. They imagine constant high-protocol rituals, dramatic punishments, and non-stop intensity. While those things can exist in a dynamic, real slave training is often much more grounded, structured, and layered than most people expect.

Real training isn’t just about kinky scenes. It’s about shaping behaviour, building obedience, and creating a genuine power exchange that exists both in and out of the bedroom.

Breaks and Time Outs Are Healthy Both the Dominant and submissive may need periods where the power exchange is paused or scaled back. This could be a full break, a lighter “maintenance mode”, or just reduced rules and protocols for a while. Taking time out doesn’t mean the relationship is failing — it means you’re being responsible.

Work, Life, and Other Commitments Come First Jobs, family, health issues, finances, and general adult responsibilities will sometimes take priority. A good D/s structure accepts this reality instead of fighting it. Trying to maintain full intensity during stressful periods often leads to resentment or drop.

Prevent Exhaustion on Both Sides Submissives can become physically and mentally drained from the emotional labour, service, or high protocol. Dominants can also burn out from the constant responsibility, decision-making, and emotional load. One person becoming exhausted affects the whole dynamic. Check-ins and honest communication about energy levels are essential.

The Intense Side of Training

One powerful aspect of D/s training involves deep control, restriction, and physical dominance. This can include:

Extended bondage sessions
Sensory deprivation (hoods, earplugs, blindfolds)
Impact play
Placing the submissive in helpless or exposed positions for long periods

These scenes are intense because they strip away the submissive’s ability to resist — both physically and mentally. When someone is tightly bound, hooded, and completely at their Dominant’s mercy, the outside world fades. Their mind often becomes quiet. All they can do is endure, obey, and stay present. This is where deep psychological submission frequently develops.

These intense experiences are important. They reinforce the power exchange, build trust, and create powerful headspace. However, they are tools — not the entire relationship.

why many subs crave (or “need”) humiliation in a D/s dynamic

1. Ego Surrender & Headspace

Many subs carry a lot of responsibility, control, or “having it together” in everyday life. Humiliation forces them to let go of their ego, pride, and self-image.
It creates a profound mental quieting — the same “quiet mind” effect you described earlier with intense physical play. When they’re degraded, objectified, or embarrassed, the overthinking brain often switches off and they drop into deep subspace.

2. Emotional Catharsis & Release

Humiliation can trigger a strong emotional release (crying, shaking, laughter, relief). It’s a safe, controlled way to process shame, guilt, or repressed feelings.
For some, it’s therapeutic — they get to experience “being bad/worthless/useless” in a consensual container where they’re actually safe and cared for.

3. Intimacy & Vulnerability

Allowing someone to humiliate you requires massive trust. It’s one of the most intimate things a sub can offer. That vulnerability often creates a very strong bond with their Dominant.

4. Reinforcement of the Power Exchange

It makes the inequality feel real. Words, tasks, or situations that remind the sub of their lower status (in the dynamic) strengthen the D/s dynamic and make the submission feel authentic.

5. Sexual Arousal (for many)

Shame and arousal are neurologically linked for a lot of people. The embarrassment itself becomes erotic fuel — especially when mixed with denial, exposure, or objectification.

Important Caveats (the realistic side):

Not every sub needs or wants heavy humiliation. Some prefer service, praise, or pure control without degradation.
The “need” can fluctuate with mood, stress, hormones, or life circumstances.
Aftercare is critical with humiliation play. The drop afterwards can be intense because it pokes at real vulnerabilities.
Good humiliation is always consensual, negotiated, and done with care — it should leave the sub feeling used and owned in a hot/safe way, not actually destroyed.

The Service Side

The other (and often more important) side of real slave training is service and daily obedience.

This can look as simple as being used as furniture while doing chores, or being expected to serve without being acknowledged. These moments might not look “sexy” to outsiders, but they’re incredibly effective at reinforcing a submissive’s place.

Service training teaches consistency, humility, and usefulness. It’s not about performing for attention — it’s about learning to be of value even when no one is watching or praising you. A well-trained slave understands that their role isn’t just to be used during scenes, but to make their Dominant’s life easier in everyday ways.

The Reality of Training

Real slave training is a mix of both worlds. It includes intense, restrictive moments that push limits and create deep submission. But it also includes quiet, mundane moments of service that build discipline and devotion over time.

A good training dynamic doesn’t rely on constant intensity. It relies on structure, clear expectations, and consistency. Some days might involve heavy bondage and impact. Other days might involve nothing more than being used as a footrest while your Dominant relaxes.

Both are valid. Both are training.

The goal isn’t to keep a submissive in a permanent state of fear or arousal. The goal is to reshape how they think, behave, and serve — until submission becomes second nature.

Some Men Are More Submissive Than They Realise

I’ve noticed something interesting over the years. Some men who consider themselves dominant don’t actually seem to enjoy being in control. In fact, once they let go of that role, they often appear much more relaxed, fulfilled, and at ease in a submissive position.

I’ve come to believe that many men are naturally submissive, but society has conditioned them to think otherwise. From a young age, men are taught that they should lead, take charge, and be dominant — especially in relationships and sexually. Because of this, some men force themselves into a dominant role, even when it doesn’t feel right for them.

The problem is that this conditioning runs deep. Many men don’t even question whether dominance actually suits them. They assume that’s just what men are supposed to do. So they try to perform dominance, often in clumsy or overly aggressive ways, because they’ve never been given permission to explore submission.

In my experience, when these men finally allow themselves to submit — even just a little — something shifts. They often become calmer, more focused, and more emotionally available. It’s like they’ve been fighting against their own nature without realising it.

Of course, not every man is submissive. Some genuinely thrive in dominant roles. But I do think a much larger number of men would be happier if they stopped trying to live up to society’s expectations and instead explored what actually feels natural to them.

Submission doesn’t make a man weak. Sometimes, it’s the first time he’s allowed himself to be honest.

I’ve found that a large portion of my clients hold positions of power in their everyday lives. They’re often bosses, managers, professionals, or men who carry a lot of responsibility. Because of this, they spend most of their time being in control — making decisions, leading others, and staying composed.

For many of them, submission becomes a form of release. It’s one of the few spaces where they don’t have to be in charge. They get to hand over control, follow instructions, and let go of the mental weight they carry daily. In a way, being submissive gives them permission to stop performing the role society expects of them.

This is why I believe many men who appear dominant in public life are drawn to submission privately. It’s not always because they’re naturally submissive — sometimes it’s because they’re exhausted from always having to lead.

Session Options in Plymouth & Devon

Outcalls I come to you (your home, hotel, or another suitable private space). I bring all the equipment I have available.

Equipped Dungeon (Incall & Outcall) For fully immersive sessions, I have full permission to use a well-equipped dungeon nearby. The host is friendly and supportive.

Sessions over 2 hours: I cover the dungeon hire fee and include it in the session price.
Sessions under 2 hours: The dungeon hire fee will be charged separately (for outcalls).

Incall The majority of my incalls take place at the equipped dungeon. The hire fee is already included in the full session price.

My Home Available only for trusted, long-term regulars I have been seeing consistently.

Deposit Requirement All dungeon bookings (incall or outcall) require a £250 non-refundable deposit (taken from the full session fee). This can be paid via bank transfer. Alternatively, you may book the dungeon directly yourself.

Ready to Explore or Deepen Your Submission? I currently have a few regulars and am selectively taking on more committed submissives in the Plymouth and South West area.

The Dungeon Playroom

A well-equipped, dedicated dungeon-style playroom designed for immersive kink play.

Facilities include:

Blacked-out, dark, immersive dungeon chamber
Multiple bondage points and hard points on walls and ceiling (suitable for restraints and suspension)
St Andrew’s Cross / wall-mounted restraint frame
Spanking bench / bondage bench
Restraint hooks and eye bolts in multiple locations
Strategically placed mirrors for visual play
Adjustable mood lighting (including dim and red lighting)
King-size bed with built-in restraint points
Sex swing / sling
Wide selection of impact tools and restraints
Various kinky toys & accessories
Room-darkening curtains
Sound system / music setup
Projector and TV
Private hot tub and bathtub (ideal for aftercare and relaxation)

Whether you’re new to this or experienced, I offer safe, consensual, and progressive slave training tailored to your limits and goals.

Get in touch with details about your experience, interests, hard limits, preferred session length, and availability. Serious enquiries only — we can discuss the best option for you (standard outcall or dungeon session).

Plymouth-based Dominant • Outcall slave training • Fully equipped dungeon option available • Safe, sane & consensual