Goddess cuckholded me last night.
We’d discussed the idea previously. To be honest, my ex-fiance had mentioned the idea and I left her because of it. That was 10 years ago, and I’ve regretted it ever since. I loved her and wanted her to be happy. She wanted to fuck me with a strapon while one of my best friends watched. I was not okay with that.
As it turns out, maybe I just needed to be conditioned for it.
Last night
Last night I got a surprise Skype message from Maya in the middle of the evening. She told me to get on webcam for her. I did, and she told me to put in a ballgag and not say anything. Then she called me.
At first, I wasn’t sure what was going on. Then I realized someone else was with her. I couldn’t see either of them, but I could hear what sounded like the hushed voice of a man. Mind you all, I was not wearing a mask. Whoever this guy is he probably knows who I am. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I trust Maya. I’ve fantasized about this. Like in the Story of O, where a secret group of people all know who has been to the cheateau but the slaves don’t know who they are.
Maya told me to get the paddle and then proceeded to spank me. The longest spanking she’s ever given me. My ass still hurts. In the middle of it, the guy spoke up. Goddess had been counting out the spanks, but then he started. I was not down with that. But she encouraged me, pushed me on. I did it. It happened.
I felt a weird mix of feelings. Like, I’ve been denied and teased for so long it’s hard for me to tell the difference between arousal and adrenaline. I think it was both. I felt used and scared, humiliated. Thrust through a situation I called off a marriage over. In a way, that’s freeing. It hurt emotionally, during and immediately after, but now it’s not so bad. It’s kinda like Maya and her date pulled a thorn out of my side that’s been bugging me for a long time.
What surprised me
I was not having a good time. At a basic level, I’m willing to submit to whatever will please Goddess, but this was borderline too much. But that changed. Half way through the experience, the way I heard them laughing and joking, and the fact the guy said something about my beard (compared me to the guy from 5 Finger Death Punch) made something click in my brain. We were all just having a good time.
To anybody reading this, I can’t express how important it is to step outside your comfort zone. I’ve been too weak and entrenched to really do that in a very long time. Goddess Maya is a Goddess, a saint, and a demon all rolled into one.