After months of no-touch denial, Goddess finally let me edge the other day. I wasn’t ready for what happened, and had no idea what to expect.
For those that follow this blog, you may know Goddess Maya keeps me in strictly enforced chastity. I’ve been locked nearly 24/7 since December 2017, with a few brief releases and only one permitted orgasm. I’m not even sure exactly when the last time was she allowed me to touch. I think back in May.
Towards the end of her show on the 30th, she allowed me to unlock for edging on one condition: I had to suck a dildo while I touched myself. I readily complied. I didn’t hesitate at all or even think about it before obeying her. As I applied some lube to myself, I was shocked at how sensitive I’ve become. I was also surprised by how easily I became erect. You see, for months now I’ve been getting attempted erections less frequently, and I’ve been worried about that.
It seems like my body has adjusted
It seems like my body has just adjusted to only having erections when Maya permits. This realization, that Maya has changed something so deep and foundational about me, hits hard. Moreover, I found the entire situation much more humiliating and degrading than usual. As I began to stroke I realized I was too sensitive for that. My swollen, aching erection was too sensitive to stroke. All I could do was sort of gently squeeze it, and even that was almost too much. I quickly found myself moaning, sucking a dildo, gently tugging and squeezing myself while Goddess just watched. She did nothing at all to entice or tease me. She barely said anything to me, and carried on conversations with other people while she watched me.
I felt humiliated and degraded to the core. It feels so intense because it’s proof, undeniable to me, that she has changed me. I’ve become a thing which belongs to her, and my own body knows that at the deepest level. She abruptly stopped me, without any warning, and locked me back up. No final edge or climax. Just an abrupt stop.
I’ve come away from it replaying it over and over in my head. I desperately want more. I need more. But with this, I’ve come to a true realization. My cock isn’t mine anymore. It’s not even that she has the key to the chastity cage. It’s that Maya has more control over it than I do, even without the cage. The only purpose it serves is for her to control me, and her entertainment. It’s not about my pleasure. It’s all about worshipping Her.